It has been over a year since my last blog post. Going to college has proved to be one of the biggest spiritual challenges I have ever encountered. Small compromises and seemingly harmless choices can definitely push you in the wrong directions and cause you to lose sight of the goal. I made some of those compromises and choices this past year. 

I started attending a new church last summer. This was a very hard decision for me. As I complained in my heart to God how hard my life was, and it used to be so much easier, and if only some people weren't this way, etc- it was as if God was speaking to my heart saying, "Be still, and know that I am God..." Over the next month or so, I came to realize that my spirit wasn't that of "Lead me Lord, I will follow" it was one of "God- this is what I want. Are You even listening? This is important now!". Once I saw where my heart had gone wrong, I was able to turn around and head the other direction. Over the weeks following this realization, I started taking notes on what my Pastor what speaking on and in my quiet times that week trying to see what else God had in His Word to teach me on the subject. I want to share some of the lessons I have learned that has helped restart a fire in my soul.

1) The importance of giving back to God. Probably none of you has had a problem FAITHFULLY giving God 10% of what you own, but I did. I would give when I had the money with me, or when I remembered, but never consistently. My Pastor really hit home with me when he said "You are not giving God your money. You are giving a small portion of HIS money back to Him in order to see those far from God filled with life in Christ." I was convicted. 

2) Serve Christ through serving others and share Christ by speaking life into others. This has affected the way I interact with my family and those I come in contact with at school and in my job on an everyday basis. Now, I didn't have a dramatic transformation overnight, as my family can certainly testify, but I hope that they have been able to see some change in my attitude when I have the opportunity to serve them and in the words I say to them.

3) When we truly recognize Jesus in our lives, we will do what He says to do. We should not come to Him with suggestions but with submission to His plan for our lives. I don't know about y'all, but I'm a planner. And while I am not exactly a control freak, I do like to know what is going on, what I am supposed to be doing and what the point is. This particular message taught me that I need to be like Abraham sacrificing his only son, simply because God told him to. I don't need to know the particulars all the time, all I need to do is obey.

4) Honor is not about what they deserve, it is about what you decide. One of my biggest failings is in honoring others who are dishonorable, have made a big mistake in leadership or even continue to make big mistakes in leadership. You may not be able to see it in my face, hear it in my voice, or even see it in my actions, but sometimes I can be very dishonoring in my heart. If its an action, word or tone, you can change that. But dishonor in the heart is very difficult to conquer and it is something I am still struggling with and probably will for the rest of my life. Pastor pointed out that every time a verse in the Bible begins with "Honor your ----" it NEVER leads to "IF they have earned it and deserve it". Honor is not only due to those above you, but you should also show it to those under your own authority. I should be an example to ALL of what true honor looks like.

I look forward to all that God has to teach me about walking with Him. I hope some of this might encourage you as it has me.

We went to the beach in Florida last week. It was surprisingly chilly most of the week, and the months of March and April bring tons of springbreakers from all over the country, so the afternoons and night were the best for going out to the beach and pool. Here are some pictures some taken by Malia and some by Mom.

the pool

really cool picture taken by malia

i like swimming in the ocean much better than the pool, but there were red flags out and sometimes double red flags, which means we couldn't go into the water

once when troy was fishing, he caught something really big and wrestled with it for like two hours

this is my moms picture


we had a great week

so, i'm taking spanish and an english lit class this semester. neither course is very involved so, i've been able to go to most my siblings' basketball games.
these pictures were taken by mom and are pretty amazing.

troy's feet

troy playing pointguard

i wasn't at this game, but i heard that he was a complete beast and took the ball up to the basket strong every time

kim and fahn play together on a team

kim going after a loose ball


taking the ball down

fahn on the offense

fahn and our friend katie

taking a shot

jon plays too of course

the ball as he shoots

the ball after it leaves his hands

now this one is just cool

he dunked a couple of times, but we didn't get any pictures of that :-|

anyway, its been an exciting season for all of them playing and for the rest of us watching.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

A few night my sister and I went to a Art*Music*Justice Tour concert featuring Sara Groves, Brandon Heath, Sandra McCracken and other artists. The concert was brought to Concord to encourage the Kosmala family following the event of their young son and brother, Andy, joyfully going home to be with his Lord after a year of battling cancer with a cheerfulness and faith that was and still is a challenge to those around him, and even those (me) who did not know him. Many of Sara Groves' songs were a source of encouragement to his mother during this experience. She spoke at the beginning of the concert, and I was completely amazed by her. She, who could so easily be "Woe is me, my baby is gone, taken from me, why me, Lord?!" was absolute radiant with peace and the assurance that her Andy is finally safe in the arms of Jesus, worshipping Him with a body free from pain and disease, and some day she will join him there.

The other object of the tour was to raise support for the International Justice Mission and Food For the Hungry organizations. The goal of the Food for the Hungry program is rather self explanatory, so I'll just tell you more about IJM. IJM is a human rights agency that secures justice for victims of slaver, sexual exploitation, and other forms of oppression. Lawyers, Investigators, and people qualified for aftercare work with local authorities to release the victims and work with them in an aftercare program in order to bring about independence and most importantly, healing. They also prosecute the oppressors, and work to ensure that it will not happen again.

I was particularly touched when they were talking about the many young girls sold for sexual exploitation. Often the girls are as young as five years old. One time the founder of the organization took the time to go around to many of these precious, hurting and fearful girls and ask them to tell him what they feared the most. My heart broke as I read on the screen what they had to say.
- "Ever since the first night I was sold, I have been so afraid."
- "They say I am safe, but am I really?"
- "Every little sound makes me jump, every touch makes me cringe, I avoid people's eyes"
- "I'm afraid that if I testify against [them] they will find me and hurt me more"
- "How can anyone love me when they know what I am?"
- "Does God really hear my prayers"
- "Will anyone ever want me?"
- "Does anyone ever tell the truth?"
- "How do I know that God loves me?"
- "People think that I'm an evil person"
- "Will I always be damaged goods?"

At the end of the concert, we were challenged to do three things.
1) GIVE. A small amount goes a long way to help these lawyers and aftercare counselors continue to follow God's command to defend the weak, poor, fatherless and widow. You can also sponsor children, give toward a whole community's welfare by sponsoring the drilling of a pure water well, etc.
"And the king will answer and say unto them, Truly I say to you, Inasmuch as you have done it to one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it to me." -Matthew 25:40
2) GO. If you can serve God in any capacity whether as an investigator, lawyer, or Godly counselor- then be ever sensitive to His leading in that direction and if He so leads- GO!
"Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow." - Isaiah 1:17
3) and most importantly, PRAY. God Himself has taken up the cause of the fatherless, the widow and the poor. He will set things to rights in His timing. He uses His faithful followers for His purposes, and those people should always be in our thoughts, we should ever be at battle for them in prayer, binding Satan and the destructive forces that would hinder their work for the Lord. You never know what battles are won by your prayers for someone you may not even know.
"The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" -James 5:16